Leaving Fear, Finding Faith: Part 1

It's been awhile since I've written a post. It has mainly been because life has been somewhat crazy. Lots going on, but isn't that always the case. Since my last post, I've stepped out of some leadership roles at my church, became part of a leadership class in the city I live in, sung a song I wrote in front of my church family, fallen  in love with GOD more, and seen GOD work in my life to change me for His glory. I know the journey that He has me on isn't over yet. He promises that His dreams are bigger than anything I can think of or imagine.

I probably should start out with what God had me at the end of last year and where He has brought me on this journey of leaving fear and finding faith.

At the end of last year, I asked God for some pretty big things. I felt like He told me it would happen before the end of this year (2014). I had a great expectation that He would do it sooner than later. It still hasn't happened. So, what does that mean for me, more waiting. In the past the word wait would have caused so much fear. And to be honest, it still brings on the first twinges of fear. However, God gave me two passages of Scriptures on January 1st that has been played over and over in various ways this year. They are:

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Both of these passages start of with the admonishment not to fear. God knew I would need these verses this year. He knew that in order for me to hold on to what He told me, I would have to stand firm in faith. Standing in faith for what God has told you is not for the faint of heart or fearful heart. I'm thankful for His promise that He is my God and that He will help me. 

Here are a few things He has taught me in the last ten months:

1. It's okay to say no or goodbye to things, people or places that are good. He might just be leading you to His best.
2. It's okay to be honest that you struggle trusting and believing. Every true believe struggles at some point in their faith, being honest about it doesn't make you less of His child or mean you don't love God. You just have to come back to the truth of who He says He is. Psalm 13.
3. It's okay to go alone if no one else wants to believe with you. I've realized everyone won't understand or believe you heard from God. God does still speak to us. If He spoke it to you, it might mean believing and trusting Him by yourself.

I don't like that last one. It's been the biggest hurdle for me this year. I don't like doing things alone. I'm an extrovert and I love people. It's hard to do things on my own most of the time. However, this is one area God may be calling me to believe all by myself. So, my hope is that I can join Job in saying:

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So, I'm learning that I can leave fear and find more and more faith as I remember who He is and that He can do all things.

Until next time...Blessings and peace,

  April   

Let. It. Go.

I have not posted in a very long time, but I figured if I was doing a "guest post" on a friend's blog (The Teacher's Wife), that I probably needed to do one for my own.

Let. It. Go.

This is my theme for the year. It's funny how the song that people are singing these days is from a Disney movie and the title is "Let It Go". (My favorite version yet.)

I also have a theme song and it's not the one above, but we will talk about that shortly.

As I started the new year, I ask the Father to give me a theme or focus for the year. This year it just seemed clear, in my prayer time and other times of corporate worship, that I needed to let some things go in my life. Have you ever felt that way? Feelings that things were just weighing you down? Well, that's where I was and I was ready to be free and no longer weighed down in my walk with the Lord and in the life He has called me to live for Him.

This leads me to the song that the Father gave along with this theme. It's William McDowell's Withholding Nothing. Here are just a few of the words of the song:
                      I surrender all to you
                      Everything I give to you
                      Withholding nothing
                      Withholding nothing

                      King Jesus
                      My Savior
                      Forever
                      I give you all of me
                      I give you all of me

The Word, the Holy Spirit, the words of songs and of brothers and sisters in Christ have encouraged my heart to truly "let go" this year. It's not easy. It's rather painful. However, I know that it will be worth it so that I can run this race with perseverance and I can say "I won't go back".

Be blessed!

Theme Verses for the New Year - 2009

Psalm 37:3-5 (Amplified Bible)

3Trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) in the Lord and do good; so shall you dwell in the land and feed surely on His faithfulness, and truly you shall be fed. 4Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. 5Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass.

Hebrews 10:23 (Amplified Bible)

23So let us seize and hold fast and retain without wavering the hope we cherish and confess and our acknowledgment of it, for He Who promised is reliable (sure) and faithful to His word.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 (Amplified Bible)

18Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will].

Father, help me to live these out in this new year. May I glorify you more in 2009 than I did in 2008. May my life be a reflection of your grace and your love.

Impossible Prayers

Have you ever prayed for something, thinking the whole time, but I don't think this will really come about or the result I'm looking for won't come about? Be honest.

Most of us have prayed prayers thinking deep down, that the Lord won't grant this requests.

Is it because we struggle with trusting God and what He tells that He will what He says?

Do we doubt His power? Or do we just doubt or confidence in coming before Him with the big and small things?

My prayer:
I'm ready Lord to pray those impossible prayers. Help me to trust you. Help me to trust your character and that you truly are faithful and have good plans for your children. Father, let my unbelief give way to the truth of your love and grace and mercy for me. Help me to see your truth and really feel your love this year in a more intimate and real way. Help me to show love and acceptance to others and pray impossible prayers for them too. In Jesus' powerful name, Amen!

Be All There

A quote from Jim Elliott says, "Wherever you are, be all there."

What a profound statement. I've been struggling with this thought lately. I know that the Lord wants us to be content where we are, but sometimes our hearts and heads want to be somewhere else.

I am happy to know what the promise is from Jeremiah 29:11-13:

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

I know that God has the ultimate plan and he will carry it out to completion. I am thankful that He has plans that are good toward me and not evil. Even when I don't know the next step he does. What a blessing.

Father, thank you for your promise that you know my future, and that you have a plan for my life. Father, help me to find my complete satisfaction in you alone and nothing or no one else. Father, I believe help my unbelief. Father, help me to be all there where ever you have me. Help me to look to the future, but live in the now and give you glory for what you are doing now.

The Start of Something New

This is my first time to have have a blog all my own. I have set up blogs before for other things, but never to just write for myself. I hope to keep it updated as much as possible and to write to express myself, feelings, and opinions. Enjoy! :)